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NOT A LOVE STORY

kamilia affendy

If I’ve fallen in love with you,

I would like to apologise

for you are the victim of my starvation,

a romanticised idea in a fictional fantasy

dancing on the ceiling

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as I reach up and slip,

failing and falling

into abysmal nothings

begging to belong,

to return on a net

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but I fall and float

in an empty claustrophobic void,

the wind howls and it’s so cold,

I prayed for a coat.

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Watching reruns of your favourite movie ,

on a burning couch

in this house made of sticks

filled with shells of lost ghosts.

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I bang on its heavy iron door

screaming for a way out,

but my throat is red and dry

so I sit in defeat,

as loneliness drapes a blanket over me

and I starve again and again and again.

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THE HUMAN CORE

A poem reduced to a quote.

How devastating it is

for a carefully crafted piece of art

to be ripped apart and disemboweled

stripped down to its core.

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How dare we deprecate and exploit

of what we define as value?

Who are we to narrow one’s path of destiny?

Are we soulless superficial creatures

to refuse to see such blazing fire that resides within us,

to be ignorant of such oceanic depth?

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For it is delightful

to be seen for what’s beneath,

to be understood beyond the brutality,

to be relieved and recognised by a stranger.

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Oh how beautiful it is

to be ripped apart and disemboweled

stripped down for your core, for your heart.

Hi I’m Kamilia, an aspiring writer and hopefully future psychologist!! I deeply enjoy writing about the human condition, and well, myself. I write out of the mortifying need to be understood without being known. In spite of that, I have zero writing background except secondary school literature so I truly am just raw dogging this writing gig lol. I do hope my writing reaches everyone who have understood the painful exigency to pick up a pen to survive. 

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