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THE SILENT HOUSEKEEPER

sandra schnakenburg

Lee entered our home like a quiet breeze, yet I felt her presence like a powerful force of nature. It was 1965, and I was just three years old, but I remember her arrival vividly. She carried with her a calmness that seemed to permeate the air as she walked into our home the very first time, filling the spaces between us with an unspoken tranquility. But beneath that calm, even as a child I sensed something unapproachable. As time passed, there was a distance about her, like a locked door, behind which she kept her thoughts, her heart—her past. I was captivated by her quiet mystery. It was as if there was a part of her that needed to stay hidden, and I was determined to find the key.
        As the years passed, I peppered Lee with questions, trying to crack that door open, hoping she might let me in. Instead, my attempts were met with her growing frustration, until one day she had enough.

        “Sandy,” my mother warned, “we love having Lee here, but if you keep prying into her past, she might leave.”

        “But her husband, her son, that horrible accident. Why don’t I get to know more her family?”

        “For some people, that kind of loss must be unspeakable.  Please, just let it be.”  
        “But Mom, there’s something else, something I can feel she’s keeping from us.” 
        “Enough, Sandy,” Mom said. 
        My curiosity gnawed at me like a splinter I couldn't pull out. Something about her story was missing, something even beyond the life-gutting tragedies of losing her husband and only child. Still, I relented, stopped asking, and let the years drift by.
        Until I was thirteen.
        One autumn day in eighth grade, I was riding my bike to school when a speeding car slammed into me, knocked me off the bike, and launched me up into the air where I smashed through the driver’s windshield. For the next year the fog in my brain was thick, tangled, nearly impossible to navigate. I struggled with basic tasks, like reading, holding conversations, and even walking without stumbling. I felt as if my brain was no longer mine. No one in my family knew what to do with this newly limited and struggling version of myself. Nor did my friends. Everyone was polite and patient until they grew bored or frustrated with my confusion and lack of focus. Everyone but Lee. 

        Lee saw right through me, her actions did the talking, and as soon as I was home from the hospital, she started guiding me through gentle exercises, like polishing faucets and cleaning windows with such precision I didn’t realize she was helping me rebuild my focus and cognitive and motor functions. 
        I stumbled, dropped things, and made messes, but Lee simply smiled and said, “Slow down, focus. One step at a time.” 

        Her voice, steady and sure, became my anchor, pulling me through the fog. We spent days side by side, her teaching me the art of meticulous cleaning, and though it was frustrating at first, I found a strange sense of accomplishment in mastering these tasks. They gave me a confidence I hadn’t felt since the accident. But even more impactful was Lee’s insistent desire and overwhelming patience to help me through each day, it was as if she understood what I was going through, as if she’d been there before. 
        When I finally returned to school, the halls, the classrooms, the cafeteria—it all felt like a battlefield. Every sound was too loud, too fast, too complex for my scrambled brain to process. But Lee had another quiet strategy for me. In the afternoons, she’d sit at the marble coffee table with a puzzle sprawled out in front of her. Her fingers moved slowly, methodically, sorting the pieces with a kind of reverence. When I joined her, the chaos of my day would fade. She’d push a pile of pieces toward me and say, “One piece at a time, just like the walking.”
        I’d stared at the mound of puzzle pieces, the edges sharp and chaotic, like my own disjointed thoughts. But as I watched Lee build the frame piece by piece, I began to find the same peace in the puzzle’s structure. The straight edges, the corners—they made sense. And inside the frame, with her quiet encouragement, I learned to fill in the blanks.
        It became our daily ritual. After school, I raced home, the bus barely stopping before I was sprinting up the driveway, desperate to join Lee on that long white couch in the living room. There, amid the soft click of puzzle pieces snapping together, the rest of the world faded away.
        As time went on, my admiration for Lee grew, but so did my curiosity. Who was she, really? How had she known how to help me in ways no one else had? What kind of life had she lived before ours? Why had she kept her past locked so tightly away?
        Years passed, and Lee’s lifetime smoking habit caught up to her. One morning in 1994, when Lee’s body was weak with cancer, my mother softly said, “Sandy, I think you should spend time with Lee today. She won’t be with us much longer.”
        The thought of a world without Lee hit me like a punch to the gut. I walked slowly down the hall to Lee’s room, past the framed memories on the wall—pictures of Lee at Wrigley Field, Christmas photos, moments captured nearly thirty years she lived with my family. I stepped into her room, and there she was, propped up in bed, her body frail but her smile still strong. The sound of her labored breathing filled the small space, the hiss of the oxygen tank a constant reminder that her time was running out.
        “Sandy,” she whispered, her voice barely audible, “come sit with me.”
        I perched on the edge of her bed, the light from the window casting soft shadows on the walls. We sat in silence for a while, my hand resting on hers, until finally, she spoke. “I will never be able to thank your mother for all she has done for me,” Lee said.
        “I don’t understand.  You worked for us. You did everything for our family all these years. Every one of us should be thanking you.” 
        “Your mother saved my life, sweetheart.”
        “But I don’t understand?”  
        “Remember the book I promised to write, I have run out of time to write it.” she said, her voice raspy but insistent. 
        “You mean the story no one would ever believe?” I said jokingly.
        “Yes, will you write it for me?”
        The words hung in the air, thick with meaning. Lee, who had always brushed off my questions, now wanted me to tell her story.  I didn’t know even a germ of her story!  
        “I don’t even know where to start,” I whispered. “You never told me anything.”
        Lee smiled weakly, her hand squeezing mine with what little strength she had left. “Just try. I trust you can find the story. Will you at least try to write it for me?”  
        I promised her I would. And in that moment, as I watched her drift off to sleep, I realized that Lee had given me one last puzzle—one with no straight edges, no corners to guide me. Just scattered pieces of a life I barely understood, a mystery I would have to solve on my own. I vowed that over the next several days, I’d get as much information from Lee as I could. This was exciting—I will finally have the answers I craved all my life!
        That night, Lee passed away, taking all her secrets with her. 

        Sixteen years later, while sorting through my mother’s belongings after her burial, I found Lee’s dusty urn tucked away in my mother’s closet, and the promise I made to Lee flashed across my mind like Fourth of July finale. And so began my journey to uncover the truth—a truth that, as Lee had always said, “no one would believe.” What I didn’t realize was that in researching and writing Lee’s story, I’d make extraordinary discoveries about my own life and family.  
        Now, as I prepare to share Lee’s story with the world, I finally understand why she kept her secret hidden and took it to her grave. 

        I’m certain that as accepting and loving as my mother was, there’s not a chance she would have hired Lee to help raise my siblings and me if she’d known the truth.  
        Now this December 2024, thirty years after Lee’s death, the complete story will be released called The Housekeeper’s Secret, told in the form of a riveting tale about second chances.  Until I dug up every detail, I couldn’t believe it myself.  I never thought it was possible — to know the extraordinary resilience of the human spirit.

 

Sandra Schnakenburg is a dual American/Australian citizen. Sandy earned a BS in finance and international business at Arizona State University and an MBA specializing in finance and accounting at the University of Southern California. She has completed writing courses at Writespace, Rice University, and The Writers University in Houston. She left a career in corporate finance in 2010 to study creative nonfiction. When not writing, you will find Sandra enjoying her family, nature, hiking, skiing, biking, cooking, yoga and walking her dogs. She and her husband, Karl, currently split their time between Houston, Texas and Park City, Utah. 

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Author Website: www.sklily.net

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